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Today I pay respect to my fallen iPhone (the same phone that fell in the toilet a few months back)

We had laughs and joked about hiding dead bodies. You probably thought I was Dexter. I asked you personal questions and told you talk dirty to me in which you replied with, “the carpet needs vacuuming.” How did you know, Siri, how did you know? We fell in love, I asked you to marry me so many times and you graciously declined my offers. But still my love…my love for you grew. We had our moments, sometimes you couldn’t understand me and I…well I could understand you. You were so helpful and funny. Your jokes…they made me laugh.

Siri (iPhone, with the male voice but not the sexy robotic English accent) was always there for me when I had a question or wanted to look up Photos of Ezio Auditore, Gambit, Captain America and many other fictional male characters from video games and comics that I think are wicked attractive, and completely fictional. I think I said fictional twice. My iPhone was there for me when I needed to spell a word. It kept me from getting bored or helped me avoid basic human interactions, like a stranger talking to me or telling me to smile (don’t tell me to smile, I have bitchy resting face and that can’t be helped). And when I couldn’t sleep my iPhone was there, right by my side keeping from going insane while I scrolled through Tumblr. Then there are the times I’d hear strange noises coming from outside my room, my iPhone was there, with a flashlight to help me see in the darkness, if I ever got the nerve to step out of bed or peek my head out from under my blankets.

Sadly, my phone is gone and in the words of John Cleese, my iPhone is no more. It has ceased to be. It has expired and gone to meet its maker. My iPhone is a stiff. Bereft of life, it rests in peace. It’s kicked the bucket, My phone has shuffled off its mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin’ choir invisible.

This is an ex-iPhone.

Fear Will Sometimes Get the Better of Me at Two AM

This is one of those nights I find myself wide awake, could be the two iced coffees and one RockStar I drank, staring at the ceiling and freaking out at every noise I hear outside my bedroom window. Let me start by saying, I have a vivid imagination and sometimes it can be very useful, when it comes to writing stories. My wonderful imagination is not so useful when I’n trying to sleep and every…

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“This is not She-Thor. This is not Lady Thor. This is not Thorita. This is Thor. This is the Thor of the Marvel Universe. But it’s unlike any Thor we’ve ever seen before,” says writer Jason Aaron.

Launching as part of the Avengers NOW! initiative, Thor is the first of an exciting wave of titles that push the Marvel Universe forward in exciting new directions! Prepare for a Marvel Universe like you’ve never seen it before as the biggest creators in the industry bring you bold new stories featuring the most popular characters! 

Who is this mysterious new God of Thunder? Not even Odin knows! No fan can afford to miss the comic that has everyone talking. Prepare for a senses-shattering new beginning as the all-new Thor thunders her way through the Marvel Universe this October in THOR #1!

Written by JASON AARON
75th Anniversary Variant by ALEX ROSS
75th Anniversary Sketch Variant by ALEX ROSS

On-Sale 10/01/14

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